


A Lament for the Broken Ones

by skiiish367



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Co-Dependency, Dark Keith (Voltron), Darker take on the universe, Hurt/Comfort, Langst, M/M, Multi, Obsession, Other, Possessive Behavior, Pretty much dark everyone but Lance, There will be more chapters but not for a while, Unhealthy Relationships, War, could be read as platonic, dark themes, pretty much everyone angst, this is not a happy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:04:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skiiish367/pseuds/skiiish367
Summary: Keith doesn't remember when it first started.The tendencies. They came in gnawing through his mind, burrowing themselves deep deep under, giving his emotions and echoes so much space. They didn't bother him at first...didn't feel like they should bother him. But that was before and now...was now.He blames the empty mass of space they are constantly surrounded by. He blames all those he rescued. He blames the Galra...his team members for encouraging it. He blames so much, but most of all...he blames Lance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written from Keith’s perspective.

Keith doesn't remember when it first started.  

The tendencies. They came in gnawing through his mind, burrowing themselves deep _deep_ under, giving his emotions and echoes so much space. They didn't bother him at first...didn't feel like they _should_ bother him. But that was before and now...was now.

He blames the empty mass of space they are constantly surrounded by. He blames all those he rescued. He blames the Galra...his team members for encouraging it. He blames so much, but most of all...he blames Lance.

_Oh, Lance._

It wasn't as though he was the only one. He'd seen it in Pidge. The emotionless stare. The light in her eyes that only returned at the mention of her brother and Lance, but turned into a burning ball of anger as soon as things wouldn't go her way. The look Pidge gave everytime they returned from the enemy ship empty handed...without her brother. It was terrifying and it reminded Keith of her own irrational anger.

He'd seen it in Allura. The anger and the raw hatred she carried to every one of his kind. He knew she'd brushed off his case of Galraness eventually, but he still saw it. The anger. It sparked up her eyes with every glance, fading away after a moment of pain. Keith was no blind man. He saw the way she fought the Galra, toying with them and gifting them with a long torturous death. The fact that she would aim for their guts, and the small snicker she would let out with every sickening crunch of the bone. He saw...and he made sure that Allura _knew_ he saw.

Coran was no better. The empty glaze that would cover the old man’s eyes was unmistakably sinister. Keith hadn’t heard all, but he knew that Coran had in fact lost his family and his sons to the destruction of Altea. The older altean no longer had the same enthusiasm of saving the universe, more a meek struggle to continue on, living on like a broken radio on repeat. Maybe that was why he Coran had such a strong connection to Lance. The cuban might be reminding him of his own sons that he never had to pleasure of raising.

Shiro was a whole new case. Keith knew the time spent with the Galra, hadn’t left Shiro completely. He’d killed...killed _so many_ innocents and Keith couldn’t find it in himself to care. Shiro killed...and he would kill again, as long as it meant their safety and Voltron’s victory.

Glimpses of the dark had even found their place in Hunk. The nervous, stuttering wreck more put together and ready to break anyone in two had they even touched his new family. Keith was a part of this family. It was a nice thought. Lance and Allura and Coran and Pidge and Hunk and....and Shiro. All of them together out in this never ending abyss.

You’d think, after seeing so much and traveling from galaxy to galaxy, you’d have found the end. Where it all finally ends. The corner of the universe, but there was no such thing. It just continued on _and on_ ...with nothing. Nothing but this... _this space._

He thinks of Lance. The cuban boy that would flirt with every walking two legged being in this space. The one who hadn’t yet falled into the regimes of space. So much space, and Keith couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit jealous. Had this...emptiness not bothered Lance? Where was the deranged gleam he’d seen in all his team member’s eyes...all except Lance.

He swallows the lump forming in his throat, pushing the tingling nerves back under his skin before they could leech out and corrupt.

“What’s gotten you all broody and emo, Mullet?”

Lance’s voice is like heaven, breaking the tension in the air and bringing him back to clarity. He grumbles, “What is even up with you and my hair? Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

Lance lets out an exaggerated gasp, placing one hand up to his heart to further emphasize his shock. “Leave it alone?! But Keeiithhh...your hair is a fashion crime itself! I mean...have you ever thought about cutting it off?”

Lance’s hands reach forward, and Keith reels back at the contact, but he’s too slow. Lance’s hand run through the back of his hair, tugging playfully, but not enough to hurt. He welcomes the cool touch, finding comfort in its gentleness. It’s something he hasn’t been used to, and quite frankly, it’s terrifying. Yet, he finds a thrill in it he hadn’t ever felt before.

The hands trail down his head, sickeningly sweet, wandering further down his neck...cool, but not overwel–wait... _was that–_

“LANCE!! WHAT THE HELL?” Keith yells, reeling back, and tingling at the cold sliding down his back. “ _YOU PUT ICE DOWN MY BACK??!!_ ”

Lance lets out a snicker, before turning into warm laughs. “Oh buddy, you should've seen your face. Oh my god! That was _A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!_ The great Keith Kogane, half galra, half human, with tiny sharp fangs capable of sucking his enemies dry, brought down by a single ice cube. Oh watch as he struggles and attempts to rid of this _horrible_ cold,” Lance mocks, laughing as Keith tried to reach for his back, in a futile attempt to pull the ice out of his shirt.

“Lance!!” Keith growls, feeling the wetness spread across his back, and his lips tug the slightest in warning. Lance gulps.

“Uh..Keith?” he tries, backing up slightly.

“You better start running, Lance” Keith warns, and Lance bolts heading out the training room. Keith follows trailing closely behind. Sure, Lance was taller, but Keith was a hell lot faster and stronger.

Lance screeches taking a sharp turn around the corner and heading down to the kitchen. Keith bade a grab for him, grabbing onto the hood of his jacket and pulled back, but Lance slipped past, letting his arms out of his jacket and shrugging it off.

Keith let out a silent growl, holding the green jacket in his arms and prompted to continue chasing the cuban.

“HUNK!!! SAVE ME!!” Lance cried, hiding behind his friend who had been holding a pan of blue looking disks. “Keith is trying to kill me!!”

Keith glared, eyes dark. “Move Hunk, and no one has to get hurt.”

Hunk let out a nervous laugh, “H-haha...I’m sure _nobody_ has to get hurt here, Keith.”

“He put ice down my back!!” Keith complained, pouting.

“Lance!” Hunk scolded playfully, and Lance scratched the back of his head laughing.

“I was just trying to cheer him up is all. His mullet was being all broody and emo again!” Lance argued, getting ready to make a run again.

Keith smirked, and cracked his neck slightly before lunging forward, darting around Hunk. The cuban let out a surprised yelp and sprinted out of the Kitchen, heading down hallways and up the multiple set of stairs, Keith close behind his trail.

Lance opened the door at the top of the stair and stumbled inside, gasping and panting. “W-wait...timeout, Keith!” he wheezed out, gripping the wall for support while he doubled over slightly trying to catch his breath.

“Nope!” Keith yelled, grabbing Lance by the waist and sending them both crashing to the metal floor. Lance let out a husky laugh, trying to push the raven off him but in no vain. “W-wait–”

Lance didn’t have time to finish his pleas as Keith began digging his fingers into his side, poking at his ticklish spots, and Lance broke down laughing. “N-no...stop! hAHhah..K-keit–”

Keith’s grim look broke into a smile and he continued his torture. “You were saying, Lance?”

“H-ahah-haHA..I-i’m sorr..sorry!” Lance giggled, squirming under his hands. “P–please...n-no more...”

“I win?” Keith asks, and Lance nods frantically, curling up in hysterical giggles.

“–Y..yes..Haha..y-you win!”

Keith stops, backing away slightly, and Lance leans back against the floor taking the moment to breathe the last of his giggles escaping his mouth. Lance sends Keith a glare, before breaking into a wide grin, and gods, is it the most beautiful thing Keith has ever seen. His lips tug up slightly, and he struggles not to laugh along with the cuban.

“Look behind you,” Lance whispers, and Keith rolls off the cuban, dropping onto his back,  looking up. He gasps, the sight breathtaking. They were at the top of the castle, a glass dome like roof, surrounding them, and outside the safety that the glass provided them there was beauty. Shining stars swirling across a sea of purples and blues mixing together in an oddly foreign view. And it was so _bright._

Keith breathes, turning his head to look at the cuban beside him. Lance’s eyes shined, and it was as though they were made of the the stars themselves. A wide smile painting his lips, and Keith wasn’t sure how Lance did it. How he hadn’t yet fallen into the darkness, and a part of Keith supposed he would never truly know.

They laid in silence, and Keith couldn’t understand why the silence was so much more bearable with Lance.

“Shiro’s back,” Lance speaks softly as though afraid to break the calm that the quiet provided them.

Keith raises an eyebrow looking over to the tanned boy. The smile was long gone, replaced with an almost saddened look. “..and?” Keith tries, attempting to keep the conversation going.

“..and that means Shiro will go back to Black..”

“Yeah?” Keith half questioned, not getting at what exactly Lance was trying to get to.

Lance frowned, not daring to meet Keith’s eyes, instead keeping his gaze petrified on the stars up above. “You’ll want Red back, and I can’t possibly take Blue away from Allura.”

Keith’s eyes widen slightly, and pushed himself up from the ground, “Wai–”

“There’s five lions..and six paladins,” Lance interrupts him. “Maybe...maybe it’s best if I just step aside.”

Keith clenched his teeth, eyes growing bitter. “No. We talked about this Lance!”

Lance finally turns to look at him, confused. “Keith, Allura’s already doing so much better with Blue than I had ever done, and everyone _knows_ that you are so much better at piloting than me!”

“That’s not true!!”

“ _IT IS!_ There was a reason why _you_ were in fighter class, and _I_ was your replacement. There was a reason,” Lance states, voice shaking with an inexplicable fear.

“W-what do you mean?” Keith askes, despite being afraid of knowing. He doesn’t want to know, but he knows he has to.

Lance its up, and looks down at his hands. “It’s nothing. Hey! I think Hunk was making some cookies earlier...I wanna try one so bad!! Let’s go, Keith!”

Lance moved to get up, but Keith grabbed his wrist tugging him back down. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what, Mullet?” Lance pouted and Keith knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to change the topic again, add some lightness and perhaps even rile Keith up too.

“You can trust me,” Keith whispered. “W-we are friends...right?”

Lance’s eyes widened looking down. Keith...had never said they were friends before. “I–I...was..I was going to leave.”

“Yeah..I know, you were going to go get cookies from Hunk. C’mon Lance, I’m being serious!” His tone harsher this time.

“I know!” Lance tried. “I-I’m serious too!”

“ _Lance,_ ” Keith growled, crossing his arms impatiently.

Lance groaned, and let out a long held sigh. “I..I was planning on leaving. As in _l-leaving leaving._ ”

“You–”

“Yeah,” Lance whispers like he was trying to tell a secret.

“ _Why?_ ” Keith didn’t understand. Were they not enough for Lance? Had they faltered somewhere causing the cuban to doubt his place on the team? “ _You...you can’t._ ”

“And why not, Keith?” Lance asks, doubting and tearing. “I could leave right now...and _no one_ would stop me. Hell, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. It’s not going to change anything. I’m gonna leave. Don’t know where I’ll go. Maybe back Earth...or maybe become all rogue and emo like you.”

“I won’t let you,” Keith snaps, voice bitter and leaving no room for argument.

Lance chuckles slightly, and looks back up at the glass, eyes glazing over the neverending space. “You’ll have to at some point. Can’t keep an eye on me all the time. I’ll probably slip away the second you look away...or something. They don’t call me a ninja for nothing, you know?”

Lance is trying to play off the situation and Keith knows. “I said...I won’t let you,” he states again, voice harsher, more.. _.threatening._

“Whatever, Mullet,” Lance returns his threat with a goofy grin. “Race you to the kitchen.”

Lance shoots up to leave, but Keith grabs his wrist before that, preventing the other brom running. “You don’t believe me,” he mutters almost questioning, staring into the brunette's eyes not daring to tear his gaze off.

“ _What?_ ” the cuban mutters confused, and oh is it _so innocent_. So trusting, Keith wants to pull him forward and dishevel that innocence just to prove that the world isn’t all nice and goody as he seemed to think.

“ _You_ don’t believe me,” Keith confirms and begins half dragging the other across the floor and down the stairs.

“Keith, what the hell?!” Lance shrieked, trying to keep up. “Let go of me!”

He doesn’t bother replying, instead tightening his grip on the other’s wrist in fear that if he let go, Lance would slip past his fingers. Just like he almost did. Keith doesn’t know whether he should be grateful that Lance told him of his plan to leave, or if he should feel pity for the other. Lance didn’t believe him, but that didn’t matter too much. Keith wasn’t going to allow the cuban to leave. _Never._

“Team meeting in the lobby,” Keith says, pressing down on the button to turn the com clipped to his jacket on. He made sure to carry it everywhere. In case something went wrong, and he didn’t have his suit in handy. “ _Now!_ ”

“Y-you’re not going to tell them are you?” Lance looks terrified...hell he sounds terrified, and Keith doesn’t blame him, but he doesn’t reply either, feeling no need to state the obvious.

“You...you can’t tell them!!” Lance shouts, struggling more in his hold. “Keith! Let go! You promised!”

“I didn’t promise anything.” And it was true. Keith didn’t promise Lance anything, only told him that they were friends and he wasn’t going to allow Lance to leave.

“This is not for you to tell!!” Lance yells, pulling at the other’s hand in hopes that the grip on it would loosen, but it wasn’t breaking. “ _You can’t!!_ ”

Keith pauses for a moment. “Not mine to tell? You were about to leave!! And god knows what would have happened if you hadn’t told me! You would be gone..and..and we wouldn’t h-have you anymore.”

Lance quiets, his struggle growing more meek by the second. Keith sounds afraid...and that was new. Keith never sounded afraid. “Hey...it’s okay buddy. I won’t leave anymore, so it’s fine.” Lance’s voice is soft, the fight escaping his breath. It’s so _convincing,_ but Keith knows better than to believe it.

The glimpse of vulnerability is gone as soon as it came, replaced by a stern gaze, and clenched jaws. He lips curls up the slightest in disgust and tugs at the brunette again, proceeding to drag him down the hall and into the Lobby.

“NO! Let go, Keith.. _.please,_ ” he hears Lance beg before shoving him into the Lobby. Lance stumbled for a bit, before regaining his footing and looking up to a room full of his team members.

“Keith!” he hears Shiro scold from his spot on the sofa. “You _don’t_ treat your team members like that.”

Lance looks around nervously, and Keith lets out a husky laugh, mocking Shiro’s idea of being ‘polite’ to his team members. If he had been polite...Lance wouldn’t be here anymore. Because of him, Lance was still here. They better be fucking grateful. “He wouldn’t be in this team if I hadn’t dragged his sorry ass all the way here. Isn’t that right, Lance?”

Keith knows he’s being cruel, but it’s not him. He swears it isn’t. It’s the tendencies...gnawing at the tips of his skin again, crawling up his nerves and pumping through his veins like poison. The others give him a confused look, Hunk looking ready to plummet Keith to the ground and Keith turns to Lance.

“Go on, Lance. Tell them what you told me.”

Lance looks meek. Fragile, crumbling under his fingertips and a part of Keith likes that power. It’s so disgusting, yet Keith finds himself craving it more. “I–I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the cuban mumbles quickly, trying to avoid conversation at all costs.

Keith breathes for a moment, trying to quell his anger back under, trying to keep it from boiling over. _Patience. Yields. Focus._ “Either you tell them, or I tell them. It’s going to happen either way, Lance.”

Lance gives him a look of betrayal, eyes wide and fingers shaking. He turns back to the team, keeping his gaze locked to the floor. “I was...I-I was going to...l-leave.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, Lance,” it’s the princess this time. Trying to keep her smile up and encouraging. Providing a sort of comfort Keith didn’t understand. What was there to understand? Can’t they get a simple statement through their thick headed skulls? Did alteans have thick skulls?

 

 

_Fuck patience._

 

 

“Didn’t you hear what he just said?! He was going to leave!” Keith yells at the bewildered morons he was stuck with for team mates. “HE WAS GOING TO FUCKING _LEAVE!!_ ”

Rage seeps out through his tongue and from the corner of his eyes he can see Lance curl up slightly, lips trembling.

To say the team was surprised was an understatement. They were horrified. “Lance! W-why?”

Lance breaks down, face in his palms and crumbled together into a ball on the floor. “You don’t _n-need_ me!”

Keith feels it again. The feeling tearing at his skin once again, and he clenches his fists together to keep from shouting at the cuban.

“Of course we need you!” Hunk replies, eyes welling up with tears.

“ _Liar!_ ” Lance screams, balling his eyes out. Sobs filled the deafening silence, and Keith couldn’t figure out what he hated more. The silence or Lance crying. “I don’t need to be here. You all have something to do. Allura has Blue and Keith Red...and I’m just a... _replacement_.”

That’s what snaps Keith. Almost like a trigger. “Get up.” he says sharply and Lance looks up shocked, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I said get up!”

Lance scrambles up and Keith doesn’t waste time in wrapping the other cuban in a hug. “Don’t you ever spout that shit again. You mean so much to us. _So much._ I don’t know where I’ll be without you. Perhaps with the garla...or captured by Lotor and his troops.”

“I-I don’t–”

“Remember that time when I first became the Black Paladin?” Keith interrupts him. “I was going to do it, you know. I was so angry... _so angry_ , I wanted to tear Lotor apart, and at the moment I didn’t give a damn about what would happen to you all. Hell, I didn’t even consider it...but you. You brought me back. If I’m here... _it is because of you._ ”

Keith doesn’t tell Lance that he isn’t a replacement, because he isn’t, and it isn’t something that he could just say and have Lance believe. Baby steps. Lance is rigid for a moment before relaxing, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck and burrowing his face in Keith’s shoulder. “I’m sorry!” he sobbed, hands clenching behind Keith’s back. “I-I’m sorry! I’m... _so s-sorry._ ”

Keith doesn’t know how to tell Lance that there isn’t anything to be sorry for. He isn’t sure how to, but the fact that everyone had now joined in on a group huddle may have been enough.

“Don’t leave, Lance,” Pidge sniffed. “You’re my brother.”

Keith was right. Lance was like a brother to Pidge, and maybe that’s why her shell seemed to break around him. Eyes frenzy the second she heard something about Lance or Matt.

They stay like that for a while, before Lance pulls back and let out a tiny giggle. It’s innocent, and pure. Something Keith wants to reserve forever. “Great...now you have snot all over your jacket, Mullet.”

Keith doesn’t laugh, lips still grim and eyes stern with rage. It’s something Lance had never gotten used to. The fire. Burning like an inferno, that only grew sucking up all the oxygen around it. Yet, it felt strangely comforting. _Warm._

“If you _ever_ try to leave again,” Keith warns, gritting his teeth. “And mark my words, Lance. I’ll hunt you down like a dog, and not stop ‘till I’ve dragged you by your hair and back here. I’ll tie you up if I have to, leave you chained to the foot of my bed for the rest of this war, never let you out of my sight again, but trust me...it _won’t_ be pretty. So next time. _Don’t. Test my patience._ ”

And with that Keith turns around on one heel and leaves. The echoing of his steps fading away in the depths of the castle, and Lance shivers, feeling cold for the first time amidst the fire.

 


	2. Never Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘If you can’t wake up from a nightmare, maybe you are not asleep at all.’

_‘If you can’t wake up from a nightmare, maybe you are not asleep at all.’_

The idea kept Keith awake all night, biting, and chewing his nails in fear. Because he knew the statement held value. Held a truth he feared to accept.

Keith gazed up at the cool ceiling lazily. He hummed slightly, finding the soft noises far too loud for the silence, and in return he stopped, playing the forgotten tuned in his head rather than out loud.

It was suffocating. His thoughts shouting in the silence, and filling up the empty room like demons. Tears stream down his cheeks, and his sobs are choked up in the emptiness.

He feels, and a part of him doesn’t want to anymore. He wonders what would happen if Pidge or Shiro or Lance died. Would he feel nothing? Or would he break with the loss, overwhelmed with the sheer pain.

He didn’t want to take the risk of knowing, and maybe that was why he kept Lance from leaving. Checking in on his room every few hours just to make sure the cuban was still there, huddled up in the blankets and soundly asleep.

One time, he’d woken up in the middle of the night to Lance’s empty bed. That night, he’d searched every room, every corner of the castle, running and sprinting through the halls, locking every pod and door that Lance could possible escape from.

He’d found Lance in the kitchen maybe an hour or two later, sitting there with a steaming cup of milk, and an oversized blue turtleneck that looked much like Keith’s red one. He remembered laughing in relief, feeling the thoughts slip away back into the dark where they came from as he ran up to the cuban, pulling him into a hug.

He’d cried that day, much like tonight, but then there had been Lance to keep him together and hold him close until he’d calmed and eventually they’d fallen asleep in the other’s arms. They woke huddled on together on the cold kitchen floor the next morning, and it seems neither of them minded.

Since then, sleeping alone felt...odd. Strange. He’d experienced warmth, and it seemed he’d gotten addicted. Feeling giddy with every passing second, fingers twitching, and mind numbing.

It’s oddly terrifying, and Keith finds he can’t move. He’s frozen, the tears rolling down in an unbroken stream, and he can’t stop. Too terrified to cry out for help, or roll over.

All he can see are the dark shadows running around his room like ghosts, and the ever so cold ceiling. Mocking and taunting him for what he’s become.

He closes his eyes, seeking sleep. Anything to be able to get away from this hell. Anything to pull him away from his mind for just one moment. Just for one moment. The dark returns as his eyes shut, but then again, it had always been there, and nothing changes.

It seems, even sleep didn’t feel enough pity to give him the mercy of a dreamless night.

 

-o-

 

“Keith!” Lance yells, and Keith can barely make out the tall figure running up to his side. It’s blurry, and the pain blooms from the pit of his guts, running up.

“S’ hurts..” he mumbled, afraid. Scared to die. To take in his last breath.

“You’re going to be fine mullet,” he can’t feel the hands cradle his head, only the pain. He screams, feeling the knife pull away from his flesh, and he can’t help but feel this had happened before.

When? He no longer knew. Time changes in space. Sometimes, hours could feel like seconds, others, every minute would feel like days.

“Keith?! _KEITH!_ ” Hands shake his head, but he only lets out a bloody chuckle, the blood dribbling past his lips joining his tears. “You did it, you did it. You saved Shiro, you saved all of us, but please.. _.hold on._ ”

“M’ sorry,” he slurs, apologizing for his behaviour. For his sickening behaviour. For all the times, he was selfish, and inconsiderate. His words are empty, the apology no more than a last leaving impression.

And he knows he’s lying, because he isn’t _sorry_. He doesn't feel an ounce of remorse for his actions, his behaviours. Knows that if he survived this mission, he would take back all his words.

Dazed, he looks up at the stuttering cuban, wondering if Lance knew how hollow his promises really were.

Whether it had been the final moments of his life counting down or just pure exhaustion, for the first in months, Keith closed his eyes slipping away into a dreamless sleep.

 

-o-

 

“It’s terrifying,” Shiro finally says, filling the silence with a deafening chill. “When I lost my arm, I was prepared for the phantom pain. Too feel like my arm was there even though it wasn’t.”

Keith doesn’t know what he is talking about, it seems neither of them do, but he can feel the fear. The chill running up the thick of his skin. He wondered if it was just the dark, or maybe it was Shiro. None the less, he waited for Shiro to continue, all the while, clenching Lance’s arm despite the throbbing in his arm.

Had they all eventually let go, he could handle being separated from the others, but Lance? No...he couldn’t afford to let go of his hand. Not when they were out in this silence. Alone.

He feels the warmth of Lance’s hand, indulges in the off safety it brough. He could feel the tips of his fingers brush against the others, and smiles slightly. He doesn’t dare close his eyes.

“I knew that. But _nothing...nothing_ prepared me for the moments when I would feel someone brush up against the fingertips of the hand that was never there.” Shiro’s voice is hollow, and Keith can understand why.

Nothing.

It was a terrible word. Reminded them of the endless space of black that surrounded them, and in it all, the stars became meek, the twinkling light no more than a small smudge of gray.

Reminded of himself, and his team. How is this big big world...they were just a small speck of dust. Of nothing.

“I miss my brother,” Pidge confesses after a while. “He was everything to me...everything.”

“ _Was?_ ” Allura speaks from beside him, blinking multiple times in an effort to keep himself awake. Keith pinches her hand in return, hard enough to break skin. Allura winces, glaring at him with tired eyes, before muttering a small ‘thanks’.

“Now I have you guys,” Pidge answers back, and Keith can hear the smile in the shorter kids voice. A part of his selfish heart feels giddy, happy with the knowledge that he meant something.

The world outside didn’t matter. The Galra didn’t matter. Zarkon and Lotor were long dead, and he was glad they were gone. Keith had wondered what they would do now, but Shiro had said it was time to go home, and Keith didn’t _understand_.

This _was_ his home.

This small group of teenager and two old aliens was all he had, and it’s all he wanted. Didn’t need anyone else. Didn’t need earth back...or any other family. His only family was here.

When they got back to Earth, he’d be alone again. He finds he can forget about that for a while. Afterall, the castle had stopped working long ago, and the lions hadn’t moved since the big fight against Lotor. Coran and the others were left in Black, who was now floating away somewhere away from them. He didn’t have the luxury to worry about them. He had to focus on staying awake, as they were all now floating in the middle of nowhere, with only each other for support.

“I don’t have anyone to go back to.” Keith doesn’t know why he’s confessing such things. He blames the space and the lack of sleep for the words that spill. “ _I’m alone._ ”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Lance mumbles beside him, and Keith swears this is the first time he’s heard the cuban swear.

“I–I don’t hav–”

“You are such a goddamn hypocrite,” Lance continues, and the words feel like a stab to his pride. He feels the anger began to return, and he clenches the cubans hand tighter, but the cuban doesn't wince or voice the pain. “All alone, huh? _It’s pathetic._ ”

Keith freezes, and he looks off into the distance the stars mocking him, and it hurts. Lance’s words hurt, because he knows it’s true.

“You say you are alone. What are we to you then?” Lance states, voice soft, but filled with a conviction he hadn’t seen before. And at this moment, Lance looks strong. Stronger than Keith ever was. Than he ever could be. “Are we not family?”

Keith doesn’t reply. He doesn’t need to. The message is clear.

“Don’t tell me you are alone, when you are not. Don’t pretend like you don’t already know it. You know it. You told me I wasn’t useless, and I believed you,” Lance doesn’t bullshit, he gets to the point, and Keith likes that. “I trusted you, so you have to trust me too.”

“ _I do,_ ” Keith whispers, and it’s weak.

“Then listen and listen to me well. You aren’t alone. You never were, so don’t you dare... _don’t you fucking dare–_ ”

Lance send him a weak glare, and Keith thinks he might be in love. If this was love, he wanted more of it. Didn’t think he could ever get enough.

“I’m afraid I’ll lose you guys–” it’s Hunk this time, and the cycle continues.

There is something terrifying about Hunk’s confession. Because it is the same for everyone. They are all afraid to lose one another. They all know that if anything were to happen, they would sacrifice themselves first.

He wished they weren’t lie that. Wished they were selfish, and in an odd way they were. They didn’t about the guilt that they person would go through, knowing you had died to save them and Keith carried that weight everyday.

He wants to laugh at the irony of it all, because what happens next, would make him a hypocrite. Just like Lance had said earlier.

It is silent, the confessions had long stopped, and Keith thinks he might be going mad. It’s too quiet, and all they do is drift further and further away to a place he didn’t know. Spinning and turning, but not knowing what was upright.

The castle had given them a ground. A place to hold onto, but here...out in the open. There was nothing.

He feels Allura’s hand go slack, and that's when Hunk’s words begin to sink in. He and Allura had their differences, btu he didn’t want to lose her. No he didn’t...he didn’t.

She begins to slip past his fingertips and Keith screams, reaching out for the altein in a desperate attempt to keep them together. But they begin to break, and one by one...they slip. Breaking apart.

Keith sees Shiro cling onto Allura, as he lets go of Hunk’s hand who in return clings to Pidge.

“..Keith..” Keith barely registered to the name, overwhelmed by the fear, and as he turns around to meet the source of the noise, his heart drops.

He was drifting away...and he was alone. _All alone_ . Keith watched the cuban fading further and further away, unable to breathe, and the words come flooding back. _‘Pathetic....trust me.’_

They give him a closure he didn’t know he needed, and he turns the jets on his suit, using his last bit of fuel in a final attempt to not be alone. And he moves, slow at first, but soon he’s tumbling forward, so fast that he is unable to register that around him.

And in the chaos, he sees a flash of blue, and reaches out for it, holding on for dear life, afraid if he let go, he would lose the cuban forever. He wouldn’t be alone....he isn’t alone. Not when Lance told him he wasn't.

Lance _trusted_ him, and in return he would trust Lance. Even if that trust was feeble, and weak, he didn’t mind. He wouldn't let go, and a part of wonders if lance is really in his arms, or if he's fallen asleep and merely dreaming. He doesn't know, but Keith supposed it doesn't really matter.

Whether it be a dream or reality, they fade away with into stars, not knowing where they were going or where they would end up. Only knew that they wouldn't be alone.

_Never alone._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! It's kind of small, but I hope you guys liked it? This chapter isn't as dark, but it's there. You just have to look for it a little more.
> 
> The part where Keith is injured is when they defeat Lotor, but Keith gets hurt somehow..how? I'll leave that up to you guys. And the part where they are confessing is when they gets lost in space, and hold onto each other so they don't separate, but it's different than what happens in the show. I haven't seen that season, so I don't know how it exactly went...but yeah...
> 
> I hope that clears everything up, but if there is something you are confused about, or if you see a mistake. Tell me! I'll be more than happy to clear things up.
> 
> P.S. I will probably continue this story, since i enjoyed writing it, but the updates will be slow. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it, and I'll try to make the next update longer.
> 
> I also have another Klance story up. It's called 'Heraith'. Feel free to check it out if you like!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are getting tired. They keep going.

The unknown is a terrible _terrible_ thing.

Despite this, his fears don’t come from thinking about the future, but rather it comes from trying to control it. And that was the problem wasn’t it?

Thoughts can alter themselves, the mind gifting his soul with mere illusions of what he presumed would be happy life. But trying to control the moments he hasn’t lived is another feat. It’s like trying to reach the peak of a mountain that was never there to begin with.

They sit alone in the wet cold cave. A small shelter they’d found after dragging themselves out from the deep mucky waters of this unknown planet. Keith looks up to the cuban curled up near the edge.

Lance’s is terrified, and he knows because he is terrified. He feels it at his every waking moment, learned to live alongside the fear but he knows it’s new for Lance. Reality is settling in, and Keith wants to chase it away.

Lance was sinking, but Keith couldn’t do anything about that. He was walking on the ground, looking up at the dark thundering clouds forming, while Lance didn’t see the clouds at all. The cuban had been walking on them, not daring to look down, but it’s tempting.

And Lance had fallen into that temptation, looking down on the tragedy he’d been born into. Keith had once been up there. The sky above his head, and the clouds underneath his feet, but he’d long fallen.

And it had been so long ago. So far ago, he could no longer remember what that blue above the sky looked like, so he relied on Lance to describe it to him.

Lance was the small connection he had to that hope beyond the threshold. Sort of like a phone call, but it was running out of energy, and down here there wasn’t any charger or batteries to recharge it.

He wants to beg Lance to hold on a little longer. To let Keith relish in these illusions for a little while longer.

He crawls over to the cuban, scooting up beside him, not saying a word. Lance leans against him, and Keith grabs his hand in return. Clutching onto it, reminding himself this was real. _Lance was real._

“Do you think we’ll ever get back home?” Lance speaks softly, breaking the silence. His voice is like a blessing in this foreign land, and he soaks in every last bit of it, afraid he might have a chance to hear it again.

A part of him wished he’s listened more closely to the others before they had separated. He wishes he’d heard every last of Hunk’s words, and Pidge’s remarks. He wonders if he’ll see them again. Phantoming a reality without them seemed...surreal. Unimaginable.

“You mean Earth?” Keith asks. Lance hums in acknowledgement, and Keith continues. “To be fair, I don’t really give a damn about Earth.”

It’s odd, speaking so freely and truthfully. He wants to take his words back, afraid he’ll push Lance away, but he promised to try. To try and trust Lance, and have Lance trust him back.

“I don’t really have anyone back on Earth. You, Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, Coran, hell even Allura. You guys are home, not Earth, not the castle and...and I don’t know if we’ll get back _home_...but I sure as hell won’t stop trying until I find it,” Keith continues, and his words give hope.

“We’ll find it...we’ll find them. They’ll find us,” Lance repeats. The words lopping themselves like a mantra, and Keith supposes it’s easier to force yourself to believe the most positive outcome, rather than even acknowledge the countless possibilities. “You know..you’re actually pretty fucking cheesy. It’s kind of gross.”

It’s a poor tease, but Keith laughs nonetheless, and it’s not long before Lance follows.

_“Fuck off.”_

“ _Never!_ ” Lance laughs, voice childish and young. And Keith doesn’t mind. He finds himself basking in his own forgotten youth. “You’re stuck with me for the rest of your miserable life.”

“Oh how miserable indeed!”

 

_-o-_

 

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually they are found by a group of escapees. A rebel group. They are ambitious, full the same spirit that had once filled Keith’s now hollow soul.

Lance is excited, but Keith knows that look. There is that small speck of dark. The tired look that's been haunting them for so long. “I’m sorry,” Keith whispers, not sure for what. Maybe there wasn’t any need for an explanation, because Lance replies back with a, “me too.”

They understand, and yet they don’t. It’s not the same anymore. Nothing is the same anymore, and no matter how much he prays to whatever god is out there, knows it never will be.

“You’re the red paladin!!” a child squeals from where they’d been sitting in.

Keith smiles weakly, nodding. He was Voltron. The red paladin. No longer the child named Keith, but the brave hero who’s name originated from a  colour. Lance doesn’t introduce himself as the blue paladin...for he is no longer one and a part of Keith feels jealous.

He’s tired. So tired of being a symbol. So tired of this universe’s messed up version of hope, and he’s angry. Angry at the universe, the gods, the galra and Red. He wants to scream, and scream until they all burn to dust.

He wanted to be back at the orphanage, _anything_ for something normal.

Lance asks to meet their leader, but the rebels claim he’d gone on a solo mission and would be back in the next few viagras. They lead them to a room on the ship. It had two beds and a bathroom, and a floor to step onto. The door shuts behind them as they are left alone in the room.

“Keith?” he hears Lance cry out from behind.

“I...I don–” Keith tries to choke out, the words choked up in his mouth, struggling to come out and it isn’t long before he realizes he is crying.

Wailing and screaming out like the child he never had a change to become. “I’m..I’m so tired...Lance _I’m so tired_..”

“Shhhh,” the cuban hushed, gathering Keith’s crumpled body in his shaking arms. “I know... _I know. God, I know.”_

“I hate this..I hate everything! Why us... _why us?!_ ” Keith screams hitting the other in the chest harshly. Lance doesn’t pull away though, still clinging on. _“What did we ever do wrong?”_

“It’s just a little while longer,” the voice is weak, easily overlooking, but Keith promised to trust Lance, so he believes every word dripping past the other’s mouth. “Just a little while longer.”

“Promise?”

_“Promise.”_

“You can’t leave okay?” Keith feels like a child. Like he’s begging some adult for some small assurance.

He hears the other chuckle. “Where would I go?”

Keith doesn’t reply to that, only lets his head be cradled in Lance’s arms who’s running his hands through his hair. It’s soothing, and he curls closer, eyes weary and heavy with drowsiness. He’s afraid to fall asleep. Not knowing if he’d wake up to reality or sink into his mind’s illusions.

“When this is all over, let's live in a farm or something. All seven of us together,” Keith speaks softly.

“Hmm, but only in one condition.”

_“_ Anything. _Anything.”_

“Only if you get rid of this horrendous mullet of yours.”

Keith chuckles through the tears, feeling grateful for these small moments of happiness. “Deal,” he grins up at Lance, who’s cheeks were also wet, with puffy red eyes.

“We’ll have a huge garden in the back,” Lance whispers. “Like the one from the Castle of Lions, and you can meet my mother and father and mi hermanas y hermanos. They’d all love you.”

Droplets fall onto his neck, and Keith simply lays there, their tears mixing together in the cold. He wished the others were here too, so they could all sit like this. Huddled close and doused with warmth.

“Your family back on Earth. Tell me about them.”

Lance’s eyes widen slightly, and he grins weakly. “So I have three brother and one sister, right? Her names Veronica. I swear she’s the most badass of us all. Carlos like to write and sing. He’s always been sickly from birth and Luis loves to dance, while Hugo is more into all the tech stuff. Reminds me of Pidge. They’d get picked on a lot by the other kids, and well, someone had to look out for them...”

“..and so Veronica would always come home with bruises and this big, _big_ smile on her face. Like the look of victory you know. She’d come home hurt, but never without beating them up to a pulp. And mama, oh mama would be so mad. She’d come out running and crouch next to Veronica with this terrible look. And you’d think she was going to beat her up, but instead she'd asks ‘Did you win?’ and every time,” Lance says eyes bright and glinting with hope. “I swear _every time_ she’d say yes. I want to do that. When we go home, I want mama to grab me and ask me if I had won...”

Keith hums, listening to every word, welcoming it with open arms. He imagines the garden, and what it would be like to sit together around a round table with no chairs left empty with Hunk's homemade food covering the table and the warmth of the candles and the smell of roasted chicken and laughter and hope and... _and...“And you’ll reply back with a yes,”_  Keith finishes it off for him.

“Tell me about your stories back on Earth, Keith. Even if it wasn’t the greatest...I still want to know. Like how you first met Shiro. That had to have been something, yeah? I mean, no offence, he took _you_ in as family! Out of everyone else. You must've made one hell of a good impression.”

Keith thinks for a moment, chuckling softly, wondering if he should let the snake out of the hat. “Oh it was one hell of a first impression alright. _I stole his car.”_

There is a long awkward pause for a moment, before a shriek fill the room.

“Wait...You _WHAT?!”_ Lance gapes, “ _no fucking way._ ”

Keith giggles, his eyes drying up as he continues. “ _Yup,_ and I basically crashed it. I’d never driven before, but figured if I’d messed up enough shit, this old fart wouldn’t bother me anymore, but I swear this fucking man _just wouldn’t let up–_ ”

And they talk. Talk until their voices are rough aching for water, and cheeks are dry, their tears long forgotten into past. It isn’t long before their eyes close, letting sleep embrace them like a blanket, and for the first time in years Keith figures that maybe.. _.just maybe Earth wasn’t so bad after all._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I know this chapter took a while to upload, but I hope you all like it! It's a short chapter, but this one was to further the mood and their lost sense of time in Space. Basically, they are slowly losing touch of reality. It was also to bring out a part of their child self. They've been forced to grow up, but in small moments like these, they live their childhood. 
> 
> I don't know when I'll upload next, but hopefully it won't be too long. If you guys see a mistake or if there is something you don't understand, tell me! Both criticism and suggestions for the plot are greatly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a dark story, and repeat after me, NOT with healthy relationships. I wrote this a while ago, wondering what it would be like if Space sort of made them....change a little? 
> 
> I do plan on writing more chapter to this story, but for now, it will remain a single chapter story....and I suppose it could be read as platonic as well...but again, not a happy story. It will get darker. I can promise you that.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys like this! Maybe?
> 
> See a mistake? Tell me. Both criticism and suggestions for the plot are greatly appreciated!


End file.
